Reprieve

[Listening to: Everything, by Lifehouse.]

As we travel through the northern part of Italy and into Slovenia, I can feel my heart starting to thaw. I know this sensation all too well, but it’s been a while. The mountains are more than beautiful, more than I can write on this page. Nonetheless, I’ll try. The water is a shade of blue-green I’ve never seen before. The mountain-side villages remind me of places I’ve only ever imagined. This is it. This is the awakening I’ve needed for sometime now. Why did I have to travel almost 3000 miles to find this place again?

Still, even now, I think about all I’ve lost in the past year. I can still feel the hurt; my chest is still hollow in some places. The hollow feeling, I know, will always be there. And, as I’ve said before, I don’t intend nor desire for it to be lost.

It’s as if the mountains were created to treat my broken heart. As if God sent them on my behalf, so that I might find some reprieve. I’m engulfed by their beauty. I’m wrapped, but not crushed by their power. I want to reach out to them, as a child reaches for its father’s arms. And, somehow, I believe they’ll catch me. If I could speak to them, I’d tell them I need them. Though, in all reality I know they wouldn’t respond in words––they’ve already said more than I could ask for. I can hear them now, speaking in their own language: “Wake up, you’ve still got a life to live. Run along now.”

Reasons Revisited in Rome

So, I've only been in Europe for a few days, but I already know that I'm not happy with the way I've been experiencing it. I've been to Venice, and currently I'm in Rome. I've met many different people (traveling, like myself) and they all seem to have a purpose for being in Europe. Most of the time, it's to see the tourists sites. Rarely is it to "just to get away." I, however, decided to travel abroad to immerse myself in many different cultures. That's not the way it's worked out thus far.

Instead of immersing myself in different cultures, I've found myself searching for something to serve as a purpose for my trip. I realize that my trip to Europe wasn't planned well, but that was done (rather, not done) intentionally. As most of you who read my blog know, my only brother died this past November. His death was extremely difficult for my family to deal with. I felt as though I had to stay strong for my family, and because of that, I didn't have time to grieve. A few weeks ago, I felt as though the grieving process had just started for me (though, I'm not sure anyone really knows when it starts or ends). By that time, I had already planned my current trip to Europe. Nonetheless, after the grieving process started, I knew the Europe trip would be a great opportunity to simply "get away" for a bit.

So, my reason for this entry is to remind myself of the purpose for the solo part of my Euro-trip. This trip is not about seeing the tourists sites, nor is it about "taking full advantage" of my time in Europe. Rather, this trip is about me (as selfish as it sounds) finding a peace of mind, learning to deal with the loss of my brother, and deciding how I want to live my life as I enter my last year of school. Now, that I've revisited my purpose, here's to a more purposeful time in Europe.

Carpe Diem,

Rafa

Keepin' Waco Wacko

As most of you who are reading this blog already know, I'm leaving for Europe in less than a week. I wanted to start a blog, mainly to keep my family & friends updated on my travels through Europe. So, here it is.

Currently, I've yet to pack. However, I'm hopeful that I won't resort to a last minute scramble to try and fit roughly two months worth of clothes into a large pack. That means I should probably get started today. We'll see if I get that done.

A few things I'm excited about as I prepare for my first real trip outside the U.S. (because border-town Mexico doesn't really count) are: (1) my new SLR (Canon EOS Rebel T2i); (2) traveling for three weeks through Italy and Spain solo; and (3) the idea of coming back to the States as a "world traveler." I'm a little bummed I won't be carting around a new iPhone 4, but at least I'll have something to look forward to when I get back (inter alia, of course).

Like I mentioned above, this is my first "real" trip outside the U.S., and I have to admit (as bold and adventurous as I consider myself) I'm a little nervous about traveling solo on a different continent. I'd like to consider myself a bit of a survivor when it comes to life in general, but traveling Europe solo is something I've never experienced or come close to experiencing. Heck, I'm just a guy from small-town West Texas. As open-minded as I consider myself, I'm interested to see how much more my eyes are opened while traveling the countries across the "big pond."

I still have quite a bit to do before I leave, like: (1) play in a softball double-header tonight; (2) pack; (3) spend some "quality time" with my friends before I leave; and (4) figure out the rest of my itinerary for the second solo part of my trip.

Please, if you have any advice on where I should visit (or not visit) and things I should do (or not do), let me know.

If you plan on keepin' in touch, here's my contact info:

• Email: Rafael.C.Rodriguez@me.com

• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/people/Rafael-Rodriguez/9212782

• Twitter: www.twitter.com/sicem7

• Skype: RafaelCRodriguez

• Calendar: http://ical.me.com/rafael.c.rodriguez/Europe%202010

Lookin' forward to bloggin' and hearing from you all.

Peace,

Rafa